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Category: Diary

  • Summer ’25

    This summer is already one I know I will be referencing again and again in the future, as a period of the past which changed me and thus, refined me.

    Sometimes I’m lost as to what the past thirty months have amounted to. But in other ways, I’d say it’s a return. It’s a return back to the space of carving myself a place that is mine for me. Out of survival, out of necessity, probably both..knowing my realities could change in the place I made which was mine..without limits and with only the truths I know. Keeping it, tending to it with and through change and just trying to be, to live as true as possible.

    I know I’ll know more once time does what it does. So far:

    • I crossed victorious, through and to a new big age. Hallelujah. Seriously. And it was like my brain chemistry altered on the day.
    • After nearly nine years, I saw someone I once knew again. This time in my city.
    • Another close hawk encounter happened on the 17th of July. 125 weeks and five days aka 126 weeks after the last on February 18, 2023.
    • A chunk of my molar came out on an early Saturday morning and it was a tipping point.
    • Really, really good things are happening (i.e. loved ones are getting married, new life is being brought into the world, healing is happening through second chances…) while really, really bad things are also happening (i.e. genocide, layoffs, abductions, rent going up…)
    • It’s endings for new beginnings. I’m just not yet sure which are the endings marking what beginnings and vice versa.

    Is there a numerologist in the house

  • By Fire

    They laid new road on 126th last night. I was up for the entire thing. I could hear it happening, smell it, and occasionally I would look out the window and watch the crane and people working. I can’t help but draw some analogous meaning out of it..that maybe I too am supposed to be making new roads.

    I recently went through an experience where I said to a friend: “Why does it feel like all the lessons in my life are trial by fire?” It didn’t help that it was an exceptionally hot summer and I had spent hours in the previous days marching about the city to stomp my way through processing this specific experience. Then, it occurred to me while listening to a song I had not heard in a while – I asked for much and what ensued was refinement and purification by fire, a clearing to make way for what is to come, for what I have been calling in.

  • Recent living

    1- Rashid Johnson exhibition at Guggenheim; 2- 126 Red; 3- California limes; 4- Reminders LA is dreamy; 5- Rainbow water in Cass cup; 6- Easter origami; 7- My mom!!!; 8- Cheer; 9- Cornbread

  • Telling the truth for as long as I live

    I’ve tried another way, various ways and went about miserably everywhere except to live, let alone feel alive, feel present.

    To be alive is to tell the truth, to be truth, to embody truth. To live is to tell the truth. And to the best effort I can give, I intend to tell the truth. 진심 truth

    Truth in love, truth with wisdom..exactly as it was anointed to me.